Whatever You Do, Don't Turn Around

“Não virá. Têm um carro atrás agentes com dóis carás usando balaclavas e segurando R-15’s.” I spoke in Portuguese to not alert the camera crew from Vice Guide To Everything who had accompanied me to City of God so I could pick up a sofa from the upholsterer.

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Let me back track. In 2010 I was living in Rio de Janeiro. On weekends I would go to the flea market at Praça Quinze. This is where I met Alex. He had great inventory and I bought from him often.

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Soon after he invited me to his store in City of God. I went and bought even more - tables, chairs, lighting and yes, sofas. My plan was to upholster the furniture in Rio and ship it back to NYC ready to go. Alex recommended an upholsterer just down the way from him so I walked to Roberto’s shop to introduce myself. He was happy to do the job and asked me to pick up the sofa in two weeks.

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During that time, Shane Smith (Vice) got in touch to arrange filming of Vale Tudo fighters in Brazil. The crew was at our apartment and commented on needing some background shots. I told them that I’d be picking up a sofa and they were welcome to ride along to see City of God. The driver picked us up and we headed for Roberto’s shop. With the sofa now semi secure in the back of the car, hatch up and me perched on the wheel well, we headed home.

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At some point in the ride, I looked back to see a car following us. That saying, white knuckle fear - it’s real. I tightened my grip and cleared my throat. “Don’t turn around. There’s a car behind us with two guys wearing balaclavas and holding R-15’s”. Turns out the guys from Vice thought it’d be okay to start filming even though they knew better - permission had to be granted from the local drug dealer.

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Their bravado had just turned a trip to the upholsterer into something very different. The driver of my car waved the guys up along side us. Luckily he knew them and explained the situation. But before they drove off they drifted back to where I was sitting in the car. I flashed a smile and gave a thumbs up. They nodded and drove off.

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The sofa? I sold it as soon as I got back to NYC. ;-) hkv